Same story, 2 points of view:
I noticed a poor (really, read that as simple) looking colleague always had lunch at a particularly run down bukka, so one day, I offered to take him somewhere “nice” for lunch. He was rather reluctant but he eventually agreed. This wasn’t my regular lunch place as it was barely affordable but I was just too happy to “do some good” for the “less privileged”.
Lunch was rather awkward cos I kept trying to keep a conversation going while he ordered modestly and kept sneaking a glance at his watch. We finished & he literally bolted out of the place with a weak apology of needing to be somewhere. Somewhere better than here? Anyway, he was cordial & polite all through but honestly, I expected much more appreciation for the favour I was going out of my way to do for him. Afterall, I doubt that he could afford to come here to eat if I hadn’t brought him
A colleague I barely talk to offered to take me for lunch & I was hesitant cos all those workmen I buy lunch for in a nearby bukka will go hungry while I eat in some fancy restaurant. But I felt bad turning him down since he’s a lonely chap & I felt he must really need the company. At lunch, food was so expensive and I wasn’t sure what could be bothering him so much that he needed to go this length to talk to me about. I was quiet so as to give him all the attention and didn’t want to interrupt him cos I imagine it must be hard opening up to a stranger. I soon realised, he either had nothing to say or had changed his mind about saying it & since if I rushed, I still had a few minutes to catch the widow’s bukka and buy the workers their food.
The widow has 2 kids in University and this is her only means of livelihood. Since she won’t take financial help, I constantly make sure she sells all she has and that’s why I have to keep buying her food for the hungry strangers.
I got there late and they had all left. My day is ruined and this colleague cost her a day’s sales.
But I’m sure he meant well though!
Before doing good, make sure what you are doing is not selfish and it must be necessary, relevant and valued.
It’s a horrible position to give a favour to someone who sees it as a favour to you by receiving your favour!!
In all, never stop being kind!
No matter the story you hear, no matter how convincing, no matter how you trust the teller, always remember that there’s another valid perspective you don’t have so don’t jump to conclusions or judgment! We can all be on opposite sides and yet all be right…or all be wrong